Captain N: The Game Master

Season 3







Original air date:
Saturday, November 16, 1991

Last week on "Captain N", the Game Master racked up points showing off for his heroes, Link and Zelda. But the game turned hot and heavy when Mother Brain sent King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard to win the race for the Potion of Power, so they'd better stop horsing around!

Link managed to push himself up.
"Whinny! Prepare to meet thy fate, intruder." Horsehead raised his Morning Star, giving one last sentence to give Link one last look on life.
Link gasped.
Kevin gasped.
With one press of a Power Pad button, Kevin was streaming at Link - at faster than normal speeds. He grabbed Link, knocking him out of the way just moments before the Morning Star hit the wall behind where Link was standing.
With Link now face-planted into the floor, Kevin stopped, dropping to one knee. "How 'bout you preparing to eat Zapper, Horseface?"
Instead of aiming his Zapper at Horsehead, he aimed at the ceiling above the monster. Two blasts brought a section of ceiling cascading down on Horsehead.
"Whinny!" Horsehead blipped out of existence.
Link finally had enough of pretending to be carpet and picked himself up, rejecting help from Kevin. "Mnnn..."
Both Kevin and Zelda moved over to him.
"Link! Are you all right?!" Zelda asked.
"Sorry you had to eat dirt, pard," Kevin explained, "but I just remembered: Horsehead's only vulnerable in one spot - on his head." Kevin pointed to his own head as a graphic demonstration, while giving Link a grin.
Link looked away. "Oh, yeah, right. Guess I forgot." The look on his face said he didn't forget, but was just too ashamed to say otherwise.
"Hey," Kevin continued, "it coulda happened to anybody under that kind of pressure."
"I see why Lana depends on you so much, Kevin." Zelda said.
Kevin smiled at her. "Aw, it was nothin' any other Game Master wouldn't do."
Link frowned. "Yeah. Right." He yanked his sword out of the floor and retrieved the parchment he had dropped before he had launched himself at Horsehead. With sour overtones in his voice, he asked "Anybody besides me interested in where this key fits?"
Kevin, Zelda, and Gameboy came over and peered at the parchment.
Link read the ancient writing: "'The Golden Key to the Golden Door leads across to the island shore.'"
"I've got it!" Kevin took the parchment. "It's the Island Palace. I even know a shortcut through a secret tunnel."
Link pulled the parchment out of Kevin's hands. "So do I. C'mon."
Kevin stared after Link as Link walked away. "H-hey, wh-what's bugging Link?"
Zelda stepped up to Kevin's side. "I don't know. He's never acted like this before."

"Hoot! Hoot!" a scraggly owl called from its perch above the graveyard.
"This place sure looks a lot creepier in person." Kevin commented.
Link's head turned. "That sounded like a moa." His sword whipped out. "There it is!" A bolt from his sword smashed into a tree, sending it toppling over. "No! Over there!" Another sword blast sent another tree falling over. "They're all around us!"
Unseen by those in the party, King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard minutely raised their heads from behind the second tree Link decimated. Their sweat soaked-brows spoke volumes of the scare the tree's destruction and the sword's power had given them.
"Insufficient data." Gameboy chimed. "Insufficient data."
"Link." Zelda said lowly. "I don't see anything. You're pushing too hard. Relax."
Kevin looked at Zelda. "No, Zelda. Link's right."
Large floating eyeballs suddenly appeared.
Kevin took aim. "Get ready, guys. The name of the game is Eyeball."
Link got rid of one. Zelda killed a second. Kevin zapped another.
"Initiating defensive game action." Gameboy said while using his LCD stretched screen baseball bat to clobber another two moas.
"Hurry!" Link took off running, Kevin by his side. "The tunnel entrance is right around here someplace!"
"My map from home would sure come in handy about now." Kevin mentioned.
"I could find the tunnel with my eyes cloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosssed!" Link disappeared in one downward motion. Where he was at was replaced by a gaping hole. "Aaaaahhh!" Splash! "Ooof...." Cough-cough. "Pweh! Pweh! Yaach." Link spat the filthy water out of his mouth, but remained sitting in it where he had landed.
"Link!" Zelda called, surprised.
"Recommend future search with open eyes." Gameboy suggested.
Zelda jumped into the hole, followed by Kevin and Gameboy.
After they had vanished into the hole, King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard moved over to it, looking down.
Hippo half-turned the single eyeball next to him. "Whoa. It sure is dark down there. You wanna go first?"
"Hey, Blimpo." Eggy looked at Hippo with his single eye. "I'm over here."
Hippo looked at Eggy, then looked at the other eyeball he had glanced at first - a moa. "Waaaaaaaahhhhhh!!! Ahhhhhhhh!!!!"
Hippo and Eggy picked up heel and ran.
"Uh, I've got a better idea! Let's take a boat!" Hippo suggested.

Sitting on a raft in the middle of the water, with the Island Palace in the distance, both Hippo and Eggy were rowing.
"Hey, Eggbreath," Hippo said to his companion, "you're sitting the wrong way."
"Uh-uh." Eggy said. He had been facing the opposite direction from Hippo. "You are. The island's behind you."
"Then let me sit over there." Hippo said. "I get seasick riding backwards." He stood.
"Wait, you're rockin' the raft!"
They both tumbled off.
"Yaaahh!! See what you did?"
"Aw, shaddap and swim."

"I can hardly believe we made it." Zelda said.
The elevator they were on stopped, allowing them to step off.
Zelda looked around. "Now which way, Kevin?"
"What do you think, Link?"
"You're the hotshot Game Master. Why ask me?"
Kevin looked at him. "Huh?" He looked around.
They walked down one path; coming around the bend, they were confronted with a door.
"If my memory's on target, if we open that door - " Kevin thought out-loud to himself.
"Request acknowledged." Gameboy chimed. "Prepare to open door?"
"Gameboy, no!"
Kevin's cry came too late. The door slid open, releasing a bulky Darknut. The Darknut's club swung wide, smashing into an Armos Knight statue, guaranteeing that Armos would never come alive. A bottle of magic fell out of the broken statue.
Link stepped forward, bringing out his sword. He shot the door's trigger, sending the door slamming shut. The door bent inward with each blow from the Darknut, but refused to give.
"Nice move, Gameboy." Link sneered. "Did Captain N teach you that one?"
"Hey, go easy on him, Link. He's just learning."
"Yeah! And he almost got us wasted!" The two were about ready to tackle each other.
"Hey, c'mon, guys." Zelda chided them. "We're here to find the Potion of Power, remember?"
Gameboy drew their attention to the bottle that had fallen from the statue. "Potential energy source detected."
Kevin bent to pick it up. "A bottle of magic. Good work." He eyed the bottle. "This could come in handy." He pocketed it.
Link looked at Kevin aside. "Who needs magic when you've got brains."
Kevin could only watch Link walk away, shaking his head with a smile.

They approached a circular door, glowing golden with its own kind of internal light.
"See?" Link didn't bother facing them. "I found it. The Golden Door."
"Careful, Link." Kevin warned. "This could be a trap."
Link looked over his shoulder at Kevin, disgust dripping in his voice. "Well, we're not gonna to find the potion waiting out here. I'm goin' in."
He stuck the key into the keyhole next to the door. The door's three golden semicircular slaps slid out of the way.
Link gasped. "Huuuuuhhh?"
The door opened to reveal a suspended path, weaving between large statues. They stepped through.
"Whoa! These statues are awesome." Kevin commented.
After passing one, an armored man mounted on an armored horse, the man's head turned to watch them, eyes glowing briefly.
The Potion of Power hovered above a clawish pedestal. It glittered and glistened solemnly.
"Look, we made it in time." Zelda said. "That must be the Potion of Power."
Coming up to it, Kevin and Link looked at each other. "I'll get it." they both said simultaneously.
"I am the guardian of the Potion of Power." a voice boomed out.
The four heroes turned around. Zelda gasped. Standing on the path was the armored man on the armored horse.
"Whoa, that was no statue." Kevin observed. "That's Ironknuckle."
"He who desires its power must first defeat me." Ironknuckle stated.
Kevin and Link drew their respective weapons.
"Move it!" Link commanded. "You're blocking my shot."
"And you almost blew it last time, remember?" Kevin reminded him.
The horse charged. In the time it took Link to bring his shield out and enlarge it on his arm, Kevin fired (bringing a look of shock from Link).
When Kevin's shot failed, he half-turned to Link. "Try knocking him off his horse." Kevin suggested.
"I don't need you to tell me how to handle this, sorehead!" Link bellowed.
Ironknuckle plowed right between Kevin and Link.
"Aah!" Link yelled.
"Oof!" Kevin yelled.
"Boing, boing, boing!" Gameboy beeped. "Danger, danger, danger! Boing, boing, boing!"
It was then that Zelda looked back at the potion. King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard were standing there, laughing. Eggy had the potion in his left hand.
Zelda turned around. "Link! Kevin! They're stealing the Potion of Power!"
Kevin turned around. "Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. What are you doing here?"
"Just what it looks like, Captain Ninny." King Hippo called.
Eggplant Wizard said "And now, we're gonna to restore Ganon - just like Big Momma Brain ordered."
Eggy and Hippo raced out the door behind the pedestal.
"We've gotta stop them. Aaaaahhhhh!" Zelda was suddenly grabbed and hoisted into the air by Ironknuckle.
"He's got Zelda!" Link exclaimed. He shot his sword.
The bolt hit Ironknuckle's armor, barely missing Zelda, as she hung by her midsection in the crook of Ironknuckle's arm.
Link looked at Kevin, despair clearly written on his face. "Okay, Kevin. Let's try it your way. This is going to take two of us."
Link's admission brought a demented smile to Kevin's face.
Link raised his sword again, this time along with Kevin and his Zapper. Their blasts vaporized the horse, sending both armored man and Princess to the floor.
Zelda got up and ran back to where Kevin and Link were,...and moved behind Kevin.
"This'll be a shot of a lifetime." Kevin said. "So make it good."
Link nodded. Zelda cocked her bow. As Ironknuckle raced at them with a long black sword drawn, Kevin's zapper bolt, Link's sword shot, and Zelda's arrow slammed into his chest.

Hippo and Eggy ran across a span of bridge.
King Hippo laughed. "So long, suckers!"
The bridge crumbled under their weight. Kevin, Link, and Zelda stopped running just in time to keep from plummeting into the gap.
"Oh, man!" Kevin said.
"Thanks a bunch, fellas." Eggy said. "We couldn't have done it without you."
The four were left on the other side.
Humiliated, Link was looking down at his feet. "This is my fault. I acted like a jerk because you were such a whiz kid on my turf."
Zelda frowned. "Now we'll never get past Ganon's creatures in time to stop them."
Kevin smiled. "Oh, yes, we can. We're awesome when we work together."
Link looked at Kevin, smiling his first genuine smile of friendship at him. "Instead of against each other."
These guys are geniuses, aren't they?
Link was evidently relieved Kevin wasn't going to hold this against him.
Kevin turned. "Gameboy. Warp to the palace and bring back the N Team."
Gameboy pressed his Up arrow key and soared up into the air, going through a warp zone.

Inside Death Mountain's largest chamber, on a dark stone tablet, placed atop a stone pyramid, lay a cute-looking pig surrounded by Hippo, Eggy, and Mother Brain.
"Give it to me." the pig said in a strangled voice. "Give me the potion."
"Hurry and give him the potion!" Mother Brain prompted.
"Yeah." Eggy said. He lowered the potion closer to the cute pig.
He held up two cute piggy hands, awaiting the potion. "Give me...the potion."
"No! Stop!" Zelda's voice rang out from the darkness at the bottom of the underground stone pyramid.
"Hurry! Do it now!" Mother Brain said.
The potion was handed to awaiting cute pink piggy hands. Its mouth was raised to cute piggy lips, which spilled and drooled the potion - in a rather cute way. Almost immediately, the cute pig began growing, changing from cute pink to ugly barely brown. Pudgy hands elongated into long cruel fingers. The short farm pig snout pushed out into one that could top a warthog, and was twice as ugly than one even a warthog could spout. The cute little pig was now quite a good size bigger - and much uglier.
"Link!" Ganon called out. "How nice to see you again. And you brought your friends to my coming out party." Without seeming to do so, Ganon caused the ground to start violently shaking.
"Oh, no!" cried the heroes - the ones who originally set out on this quest and those Gameboy had fetched.
"If you're trying to scare me - " Simon Belmont began. A crack developed between his feet and widened. " - you're doing a good job!"
Debris started falling, forcing everyone to dodge.
Kevin reached for his Zapper.
Link pulled him back. "Forget your Zapper. He's too powerful. We're gonna have to fight fire with fire."
"I gotcha. The magic bottle Gameboy found." Kevin said, pulling out the bottle of magic he had stuck in his pocket. He opened it and started pouring it on Link's shield. "I don't know what this does, but I sure hope it works."
"No one can withstand the power of Ganon." Ganon boasted. "Videoland is mine!"
"Wait a minute!" Mother Brain protested. "I don't like freelancers. You're supposed to be workin' for me."
"Ganon works for no one." Ganon raised a hand, sending a shockwave that knocked Mother Brain over on her side.
King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard ran over to her.
Kevin and Link stepped forward.
"Take your best shot, Ganon." Kevin taunted.
Ganon faced them. Opening his arms, he increased in size, becoming even larger - and more formidable. It did startle the heroes, but still they stood their ground.
"He who dares to defy Ganon will pay the ultimate price! Ha!" A bolt of frightening proportions leapt from Ganon's hands, flying right at Link.
The bolt hit Link's shield, - but the reflect magic on Link's shield sent it flying back. The magic on the shield was so strong, Link wasn't even knocked back in the slightest.
The bolt hit Ganon. A whirlwind, rather vortex-like, formed. It picked Mother Brain, Eggy, and Hippo on its way out, making a large hole in the ceiling. Vanished, only the heroes were left standing in the chamber.
Kevin and Link faced each other.
Kevin smiled. "That reflect magic is awesome stuff."
Link smiled back at him. "I'll get you some for your next birthday."
The other N Teamsters and Zelda came up to them, cheering.
Zelda was excited. "We did it! We saved Hyrule! Thanks to you!" She kissed Link on his right cheek. She then faced Kevin. "And you. The best team of heroes ever!" She kissed Kevin on his left cheek.
Then they all cheered.