"ROBOTS AND KOOPAS"
EDITED AND HTMLIZED BY
Saturday, October 3, 1992, 9:00 AM
Mike Vincent was bored. "Why the hell did I let Keene talk me into watching the place?" he asked himself, walking to the Communications room after going to take care of some restroom business. "I could be out with the rest of the team, kicking some robotic rear end, and I have to sit and watch these screens with Julius!" He entered the room and went back to the terminal he was using. Julius Jones normally meant well, but he wasn't terribly bright. He saw something on his monitor. "Duh, Mike, here's something." Mike checked it. "Whoo!" he cried happily. He would get some action today! Prince Lyle entered the room. He had just begun taking some time off to spend with Lana - while she was around, that is. "Hey, what's up?" the clumsy prince asked. "Wily just sent some of his robots to Mount Icarus and Punch-Out." "He must be after King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard!" "Yeah, figures. That little dipstick probably wants to get in good with the new supervillains in town. Well, the three of us will take care of them!" He took out his communicator. "Kevin, this is Mike." "What's up?" Kevin asked. "That wacko, Wily, just sent a couple of robots to Punch-Out and a couple to Mount Icarus. And, Keene, I seriously feel like kicking some posterior today." "Okay, Mike. You, Julius, and Lyle go to the Tooty-Fruity Juice Bar with the Warp Zone Shifter; you'll find the coordinates stored in it. Also, you're in charge, Mike, but don't get any wild ideas!" "Thanks, Kevin!" Mike put his communicator away. "C'mon, guys!" The three ran to the room that housed the Shifter and warped to Mount Icarus.
King Hippo and Eggplant Wizard were talking in the Tooty-Fruity Juice Bar. "So, how're the kids?" Hippo asked. "Oh, they're great! They're keeping up their grades in kindergarten." Hippo noticed Mike, Julius, and Lyle entering the bar. "Hey, guys!" he called. The three came over. "What's up?" Hippo asked. "Wily sent some robots here and to Punch-Out." Mike said. "We think he's trying to capture you to get in good with the Koopas." "Those robots will have to fight to get us!" King Hippo said belligerently. The robots marched into the bar. "Yo, King Hippo, Eggplant Wizard! Come quietly." Guts Man ordered. King Hippo jumped up. "Just try and make us!" Hippo challenged. "Hey, Mike!" Air Man said. "Wily's a big fan of yours, and so am I!" He turned on the huge fan in the middle of his body in reverse and drew Mike, Lyle, and Julius towards him. "Hey!" Mike cried. Air Man also had a pretty strong grip, which he used when he grabbed two of the heroes, Mike and Julius; Lyle just flew over him and crashed into a table. No patrons were at the table, but the plate with leftover steak and potatoes in gravy hadn't been removed yet, and Lyle landed right on it. King Hippo approached Guts Man in his fighting stance. "So, Gutsie! Gimme what you've got!" "If I did, I'd be disobeying orders." Guts Man said frankly. With his large arms, the robot grabbed King Hippo. "Hey!" "I'm leaving!" Eggplant Wizard cried. He ran to the exit, vegetables popping out behind, but Hard Man and Toad Man entered and cut him off. "Yaah!" "Gotcha!" Hard Man said, grabbing the fat sorcerer. "No! Put me down!" Toad Man went over to Lyle, who had gotten up. "Dr. Wily might also like the Prince of Videoland." "Hey, hey!" Lyle objected. "Holding me would have no strategic value." "Oh, yes, it would, since your little sister is Ruler." He quickly grabbed Lyle before he could dash away. "Yipe!" "Time to go! Heh, heh!" Guts Man laughed. The four robots took their captives through the warp to Skull Castle.
Dr. Wily was pleased to see his creations bring back three N Team affiliates as well as Mother Brain's former stooges. "Well, well!" he said. "How goes it, my lab assistant?" "I resigned as your lab assistant the second you showed me your factory creating robots to conquer Videoland." Mike told the mad scientist. Wily smiled. "Just testing." He turned to Guts Man. "How hard was the task?" "Like pickin' a tomato off a vine!" the bulky android replied with the cocky programming that Wily had installed. "When I get free," Eggplant Wizard said, "I'll eggplant you, Guts Face!" "Oh, do tell!" Guts Man approached Eggplant Wizard. "Don't harm the eggplant, you idiot!" Wily yelled. "Oh, surely I can pick off his stem! Heh, heh!" "Guts Man, he must be intact! Stem and all! Now back off, or I'll scrap you!" "Uh, okay, Doc." Wily went over to Lyle. "And Prince Lyle. Would you consider bowing to the Ruler of Megaland?" "Never, you nut." Lyle replied. "All right. And to Prince Ludwig?" "Him never, either!" "Tsk, tsk. Well, I've created a more basic Warp Zone Shifter. Nothing like the one Captain N and Mr. Walker stole, but it'll open a warp between here and Dark Land." "You're allying with Ludwig?" Mike asked. "Yes, Mike." He moved over to Mike and addressed him confidentially: "Just between you and me, he's got a lot more power than I do, and I definitely would prefer to be his ally than his enemy. I figure I can earn a few brownie points by giving him Eggplant and Hippo, and it wouldn't hurt to hand over the brother of the Ruler of Videoland, nor to give him two N Teamsters." "You won't get away with this, Doc." "Who cares? I'm having too much fun!" Wily laughed as all mad scientists do. Then, he used his new Warp Zone Shifter to open a warp to Dark Land. "Taking us to Dork Land now?" "Yes, dork." Wily said much too sweetly. Mike groaned, knowing he shouldn't be such a smarty-pants around such a crazy villain. "All right, bots! Take our friends through." Wily's robots took their captives through the warp, and Wily followed.
Ludwig and Roy were waiting at the warp. They were satisfied when the four robots came through, and they were pleased to see Dr. Wily. "Welcome to Dark Land, Dr. Wily." Ludwig greeted. "Thank you, Ludwig." Wily said. "My robots have provided you with three extra captives." "So I see. Mike Vincent, Julius Jones, and Prince Lyle. All right, Wily, please ask your robots to follow Roy and me to the Prison room." "Do as Ludwig just requested." Wily told his robots. Ludwig and Roy left, and the four robots followed; Wily tailed them.
Once they all had reached the Prison room, Ludwig told Roy: "Open the cells, bro." "Yes, Ludwig." Roy said. He flipped a lever, opening the prison cells. "Wily, I'm going to give Guts Man, Air Man, Hard Man, and Toad Man instructions regarding where they are to place our captive audience." Ludwig informed the mad scientist. "All right, boys," Wily told the robots, "obey Ludwig's upcoming instructions regarding the captives." "Guts Man, stand in front of that large cell. Hard Man, go stand in front of the cell to Guts Man's right. Air Man, stand at the wall between the next two cells. Toad Man, go to the remaining cell. Good. Toss the captives into the individual cells...now!" He grabbed the lever that Roy had just pulled as the robots dumped their captives into the cells, and, once they had finished, he pushed the lever back up, and the cells were closed. "Thank you very much, Wily. You've saved me a lot of trouble and a lot of time." "Certainly." Wily said. The villains all left, including the four robots. "Duh, they sure seem awful friendly to each other." Julius said. "Dr. Wily's kissing up to Ludwig von Koopa, because he knows he could never stand up to the Koopas' power, and I imagine that since he and Ludwig are both scientists, it's not too hard for Wily to suck up to him." Mike said. "Mike, we've gotta get out of here!" King Hippo wailed. "Who knows what the Koopas will make us say! Mother Brain's told us some things about the N Team that the Koopas definitely shouldn't know, at least for the N Team's sake." Mike sat on the floor. He isn't usually the one who makes the plans; that's more Kevin's job. However, he had to come up with some scheme to get the five of them free. Lyle was little more than a security guard, though he could improvise somewhat, and Julius was not terribly bright where planning was concerned; neither were Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo. And he had come up with some little schemes in the past. Suddenly, he grinned as he considered an idea he was having. Roy Koopa and Morton Koopa, Jr., entered the room. "I wonder why in the Hell of Perpetual Boredom we have to stand guard and interrogate." Roy said irately. "Oh, I don't know." Morton said, unconsciously preparing to launch his mouth into an eternal monologue - as usual. However, before this happened, Mike called the older Koopaling over. "Hey, Roy!" Roy, currently a bully himself, turned to the former bully. "What do you want?" he asked impatiently. "You look pretty strong, but I bet I'm even stronger. You wanna arm wrestle?" "Ha! I'd beat you in an instant!" "I bet you can't!" "Oh? Well, you're not trickin' me." He went over to Eggplant Wizard. "So, Eggy, how about a nice little interrogation?" "You'll never get me to reveal anything about the N Team!" Eggplant Wizard spat. "For example, I'll never tell you that - " "Hush up, Eggplant!" King Hippo snapped. "Oh. Sorry." "Hm." Roy said. He went over to King Hippo. "And, Hippo, what do you have to reveal?" "Nothing that would interest you." King Hippo replied snidely. "Just about how much the N Team trounced Mother Brain and how much they're going to trounce you unless you leave Videoland alone! She's lucky she was killed; it saved her quite a lot more frustration." "Do tell!" King Hippo folded his arms. "Well, if you won't tell us the easy way, I guess it'll have to be the hard way! Heh, heh!" "Hey!" Mike snapped. "Leave those twirps alone. If you're going to interrogate someone, interrogate me! I know more about Keene than anyone!" "Well, well! All right, Mr. Vincent!" He opened Mike's cell and was about to cast a spell to keep him immobile when suddenly the young human popped out and punched him between the eyes! "Whoa!" Roy fell on his back. Morton drew his scepter, less powerful than the ones Captain N and Lana had stolen from Ludwig and Larry, but still powerful enough. "Hey! Get back in your cell!" the loudmouthed Koopaling yelled. "No way!" Mike quickly drew his Zapper and shot the scepter out of Morton's hand. Just as he shot the main lever to open the cells, Roy jumped up and tackled him. Julius came out and helped Mike by pulling the strong Koopaling off and tossing him onto Morton, knocking them both out. "Nice going, guys." Lyle said. "Let's get outta here before more of 'em get here!" King Hippo exclaimed. "Good idea." Mike said. He opened the door, and Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo ran out blindly. "Wait!" But he was too late; a scepter blast shot Eggplant Wizard into King Hippo and both back into the room. Lemmy, balancing on his blue ball, and Iggy came in. "Felicitations from the Twins of Terror!" the youngest Koopalings greeted. "How about joining my balancing act, Prince of Clumsiness?" Lemmy asked Lana's brother. He shot out another ball at Lyle. "Whoa!" Lyle cried, jumping up so the ball wouldn't hit him. To his surprise, he managed to balance on it! "Hey! This isn't half bad!" Without losing his balance, he kicked it out from under him and back at its owner! "Yaah!" Lemmy cried. He didn't leap in time, and the ball hit him in the chest and smacked him against the wall, knocking him out. "I'll take you do-gooders out for that!" Iggy snapped angrily. He shot a blast at Lyle, but Mike pulled the Prince out of the way. King Hippo went to Iggy and punched his lights out. "Let's go!" Mike shouted. He checked the corridor, and, seeing it was clear, he led the group out in a dead run. Wendy O. Koopa and Larry Koopa were running down the corridor towards the Prison room, and they collided with Julius and King Hippo, respectively, at a corner. "Hey! What's going on?!" Wendy asked. "Julius! I bet you messed up my makeup!" "Well, if it isn't the exceedingly disgusting Princess Wendy O. Koopa!" Lyle said, grinning wickedly. "No amount of makeup and no number of face lifts could ever make you come close to matching my sister's beauty!" This made the hot-tempered and vainer-than-Simon Wendy so angry that a magical storm cloud literally appeared over her head. "Why, you!" she snapped after a lightning bolt had sizzled the bow on top of her head. She charged towards him, but he zipped out of the way - except he extended his foot across her path. She tripped and fell. "Yaaah!" "Oops!" Lyle said, grinning. "Clumsy me!" "Game's over, chumps!" Larry said. "Yous guys are going back to your cozy prison cells." "Duh, not if we can help it!" Julius said. He punched at Larry, who leapt away. "Good swing." Larry said. "But mine is better!" Eggplant Wizard exclaimed. He swung his veggie wand, and a string bean net entrapped Larry. "Ook! Hey!" "Let's go!" Mike said. The five ran into the room that had the warp to Wily's castle...and immediately wished they hadn't! Ludwig and Wily were there, amicably discussing the terms of their alliance. "Well, well!" Ludwig said. "I'm impressed!" "Unless you permit us to leave - " Mike began. "But we have no further reason to detain you." Wily said sweetly. "Yes." Ludwig said. "We have what we wanted." "But,...I thought you wanted Eggplant and Hippo." Mike said. "What we wanted was their knowledge. In case they proved uncooperative, I took the precaution of scanning their brains for what they knew of the N Team." "Why, you!" King Hippo yelled, infuriated. "Destroy all equipment that contains that knowledge!" Mike commanded hotly. "I can't do that, Mike. There is no computer containing that information. I have it all safely tucked away in my long-term memory. Or didn't you know? I have telepathic powers." "Oh, man!" Mike said, his eyes wide. "See?" Wily asked. "Now, go on back to Megaland. We have no reason to keep you swell guys!" Mike knew something was up. Wily was never like this, and he suspected that neither was Ludwig. Of course, he knew Wily too well to confront him with it directly. "Uh, okay." he said, his left hand close to his Pause button. "Let's go, guys." He led the other four through the warp. "Ha, ha!" Wily laughed. "Right into the waiting hands of my robots!" Ludwig knew better than to count on results. He knew that Mike Vincent wasn't stupid, certainly not as stupid as Wily apparently thought he was. "Let's go see what those five have done with my siblings." he said.
The five emerged in Dr. Wily's lab. Mike sighed; Wily sure hadn't disappointed them. Eight Robot Masters were waiting - the previous four, plus Elec Man, Crash Man, Needle Man, and Bright Man. "What?!" Lyle cried in surprise. "You didn't really expect Wily to let you get away, did you?" Bright Man asked. "Nope!" Mike said, grinning. He quickly pressed the Pause button on his Power Pad to pause, freezing the robots but keeping his four allies and himself mobile. "Let's go!" he cried, knowing that flight would be better than fighting. He, Julius, Lyle, Hippo, and Eggplant took off quickly out of the lab and towards the entrance of the castle. When Mike's pause wore off, they were already too far for any of the Robot Masters to catch up - even Crash Man. They kept running, encountering relatively little opposition. Apparently, Wily hadn't had time to make many robots.
Outside the castle, several Bladers were waiting, but Mike took care of them with his Zapper. "We need to find some way to get out of here." he said. Suddenly, he slapped his forehead. "Damn my memory to hell! I forgot I have one!" He took a portable warp zone opener out of his pocket and opened a warp to the house. The five quickly went through before any of the mad scientist's robots could get them.
Kevin and the rest of the N Team were waiting inside the house. "Hey, guys!" Kevin greeted when the five came in. "How'd it go?" "They captured us and took us to Dark Land, but we busted out." Mike said. "It's a long story, but we really kicked butt today!" "All right!" "Unfortunately, though, Ludwig read Eggplant Wizard and King Hippo's minds." "We know a lot of Mother Brain's secrets about you guys." King Hippo said. Kevin sighed. "Well, we'll just have to deal with it. Welcome back, guys!" "Kevin, I have an awesome idea for our next concert, though!" Mike said, smiling.
That evening, the Mount Icarus Coliseum was jam-packed with the N Team and friends. Kid Icarus went to the microphone. "Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. It is my pleasuricus to introduce Captain N & The Video Game Masters! They are Captain N, Mike Vincent, Princess Lana, and Stacey Anderson!" He returned to his seat. The audience applauded as the group walked onto the stage. Kevin directed the attention to Mike after he and Lana had tuned their guitars and the four had turned on their microphones. "I put together the first selection." Mike said. "You will hear the Tetris Anthem, which my world knows as the Type-A music from the Gameboy Tetris game. You will also hear some of the Mount Icarus Anthem, known on my world as the title theme from the Kid Icarus game for the original Nintendo, and you will hear the dark castle theme for the Koopas' castles that, on my world, is from Super Mario World, a Super Nintendo game." Kevin did the countoff, and then they began to play. Mike's arrangement of the three themes into one work sounded very good, and it was one of the most complicated pieces they had done so far. They received a boisterous applause and cheers from the audience. Disguised, Wily sat at the back. "What? You didn't play my theme?" he asked quietly. "Hmph!"