Captain N: The Game Master

Season 8



Saturday, September 28, 1996, 6:00 PM

Lana and Stacey were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching "Josie and the Pussycats" on TV.
The opening theme song started:

Josie and the Pussycats.
Long tails and ears for hats.
Guitars and sharps and flats.
Neat, sweet, and groovy song.
You're invited; come along.

Hurry, hurry!

See ya all in Persia
Or maybe France.
We could be in India,
Or perchance
Be with us in Bangkok.
Makes no difference;
Everywhere the action's at,
We're involved with this or that.

Come along now!

Josie and the Pussycats.
No time for purrs and pats.
Won't run when they hear "Scat!"
There where the plot begins. (yeah)
Come on, watch the good guys win.

Josie and the Pussycats.
Josie and the Pussyca-haaaats. (yeah)

The episode "Chili Today and Hot Tamale" started.
"Oh, I saw this recently." Stacey said, slightly disappointed.
"Me, too." Lana said. "TV off."
The television shut off.
"Hey, I got an idea." Lana said. "Since we have nothing to watch, why don't we go out on a date?"
"A date?" Stacey asked.
"Yeah. C'mon, it'll be fun!"
Stacey gave her a smile. "Sure! And hey, I'll cook dinner!"
"Uh,...okay." Lana agreed.

Stacey was in the kitchen. She was cooking dinner on the stove while dancing to the opening theme song to "Alvin and the Chipmunks", which was playing from a CD on her boombox.
Lana walked into the kitchen and found Stacey using a spatula as a guitar. The valley girl was shaking her head, tossing her long hair in every direction.
"Stacey, dinner's burning!" Lana yelled.
"Huh?" Stacey looked at her, then at the stove. "Yikes!"
Stacey shut off the stove and took the lid off the pan. She waved the smoke away.
"Is it bad?" Lana asked.
Stacey began to cry. "It's ruined. I've ruined dinner. I can't even cook Pop Tarts right!"
She's kidding, Lana thought. Then she looked in the pan. No. No, she's not.
Stacey put her hands over her face and sobbed.
Lana put her left hand on Stacey's right shoulder. "Hey, hey, don't cry."
Stacey took her hands from her face. "I've failed you! I burned Pop Tarts! You don't deserve someone as stupid as me!"
Lana turned Stacey around to face her. "Stacey, you are not stupid! You're just...intellectually challenged. We've all burned Pop Tarts in our lives. But we learn the errors of our ways and become better people for it. And I would be honored to take you out to dinner."
Stacey sniffed. "You would?"
Lana smiled and nodded.
Stacey smiled. "Cool. I'll go put on something nice."
"Stacey, you look nice." Lana said. "C'mon, I'll take you to a fancy restaurant."

Lana and Stacey walked into a restaurant in Los Angeles.
"Reservation for Deschain and Anderson." Lana said.
The man checked the reservation book. "Yes. Please follow me."
Lana and Stacey followed him over to a table. The girls sat down.
"Your waiter will be with you shortly." the man said.
"Thank you." Lana said.
He walked away.
Lana faced Stacey and smiled. "So,...we're on our first date."
Stacey smiled. "Yeah."
"Nervous?" Lana asked.
"A little." Stacey admitted.
"Me, too." Lana admitted.
"Wanna play footsies?" Stacey asked.
"Footsies?" Lana asked. "Oh, man, I dunno. You think we're ready for that?"
"Are you mocking me?" Stacey asked.
"No!" Lana lowered her voice. "No, of course not. You start."
Stacey extended her left leg and rubbed her foot against Lana's right foot.
Lana rubbed her left foot against Stacey's left foot.
Lana and Stacey stared at each other with lusty, determined looks on their faces.
The waiter walked over to them and set two glasses of water on their table.
Lana gave him a goofy grin. "Thank you."
The waiter handed them their menus and left.
Stacey pulled her leg away from Lana. The two of them set their menus down.
Lana took hold of Stacey's right hand with her left.
Stacey blushed.

After dinner, Lana and Stacey walked out of the restaurant.
Lana took hold of Stacey's right hand with her left as they walked towards Stacey's convertible.
"Uh, Lana,...could you please not do that?" Stacey asked.
"Hold my hand."
"Why not?" Lana asked.
Stacey pulled her hand away. "It's too possessive for me. It makes me feel uncomfortable. I can walk just fine without you holding my hand. I'm not a little kid."
"I'm sorry." Lana apologized sincerely.
They arrived at Stacey's convertible. Stacey got in the driver side, and Lana got in the passenger side.
"Forget it." Stacey told her. "Wanna go to a dance club?"
Lana fastened her seatbelt. "You mean pay money to dance? Forget it!"
Stacey fastened her seatbelt. "C'mon, Lana, we're in LA! Let's check out the night scene!"
Lana shrugged. "Fine."
"Maybe we can score some acid." Stacey added.
"I hope you're not serious about that." Lana told her.
Stacey laughed. "Chill, Lana, it was a joke!"
Stacey turned the ignition and started the engine.
"You know, we can get there faster if I use the hover mode." Stacey said.
"No, Stacey, stay on the ground." Lana instructed.

Lana and Stacey entered the dance club. Colored lights swept over them as they walked onto the dance floor. White Zombie's 'More Human Than Human' blared from the speakers.
"I forked over thirty bucks to get us in here! I hope you have a good time!" Lana yelled.
"What?!" Stacey yelled back.
"Never mind! Let's dance!"
Lana and Stacey began dancing.
"Isn't the music a bit too loud?!" Lana asked.
"I can't hear you! The music's too loud!" Stacey yelled.
Lana grabbed Stacey's arm and pulled her out of the dance club.
"Why'd you do that?" Stacey asked.
"I am never going to a club again!" Lana swore. "I advise you to not go either. You can lose your hearing!"
"Okay, so maybe that wasn't such a hot idea." Stacey admitted.
"Let's go bowling." Lana suggested.
"Okay." Stacey agreed.

Lana and Stacey entered the bowling alley and walked over to the counter.
"Hi." the guy behind the counter greeted.
"Hi." Lana said. "We'd like a lane."
"Okay." the guy checked the lanes. "Lane 9 okay?"
"Sure." Lana said.
"We need some balls." Stacey told him.
The guy laughed. "Uh, the bowling balls are free to use. Do you need to rent some shoes?"
"Yeah." Lana gave the guy the shoe size.
The guy got two pairs of shoes for them. Lana and Stacey took them.
The girls walked over to lane 9. While Lana programmed the information into the computer, Stacey got two bowling balls for them.
"You ready to play?" Lana asked.
"Yep." Stacey said.
"Okay, you go first."
As Lana and Stacey played, Lana tried to start a conversation.
"So, how do you like the Nintendo 64 so far?" Lana asked.
Stacey shrugged. "It's all right. The Virtual Boy sucks, though!"
"Ugh! Tell me about it!" Lana agreed. "Red and black; what were they thinking?! And staring at the picture up close? It ruins your vision!"
"Totally!" Stacey agreed. "I hardly ever play it."
They were silent for a moment.
"Hey, ya lookin' forward to 'Beast Wars: Transformers'?" Lana asked.
"Definitely!" Stacey said. "A new Transformers series totally rocks!"
"Well, we'll see." Lana said. "There won't be any heroic Autobots or evil Decepticons. Instead, we'll have heroic Maximals and evil Predacons. And transforming into animals instead of vehicles? I dunno."
"Well, we'll find out early next month." Stacey told her.
"Yeah." Lana said. "Who's your favorite superhero?"
"Supergirl." Stacey replied.
"She's my favorite, too." Lana said. "Kara rules. Matrix, too. Who's your favorite non-superhero comic book character?"
"Sara Pezzini in 'Witchblade'." Stacey replied.
"Yeah, mine, too. Sara's so fine!" Lana was silent for a moment. "Hey, want some snacks?"
Lana walked over to the counter. "I'd like a tray of nachos and cheese with a cup of peppers, please."
"Okay." the guy said. "Want anything to drink? Coffee?"
"I don't drink coffee." Lana told him. "I think it's unhealthy for people to wake themselves up with caffeine. We should get enough rest so we can function normally in the morning. Any sleepiness we feel when we wake up usually goes away in about a half-hour anyway. And if we can't get enough rest, we should cut something from our schedules, so we can get to bed earlier. Besides, we'll feel run down after the high wears off. Also, coffee stains your teeth horribly. Finally, I think coffee smells bad, and it probably tastes even worse. So, no, I don't want any coffee."
"Fine, fine!" the guy said. "What do you want?"
"Two large Pepsis." Lana told him.
"Regular or diet?" he asked.
"I don't drink diet soda." Lana told him. "Some ingredients in artificial sweeteners can cause cancer and tumors. Also, diet soda is very close on the pH scale to battery acid. It can seriously damage your teeth. Drinking diet soda is like covering your teeth with battery acid. So, no, I don't want Diet Pepsi. Give me two large regular Pepsis. My date and I can live with the extra calories."
"Okay, okay!" the guy said.
He went and got the food and drinks, then brought them to Lana.
Lana paid him, then took the items back over to her and Stacey's table.
"What took you so long?" Stacey asked.
Lana and Stacey took a break from their game and ate their snacks.
"You're a good bowler." Lana complimented.
"Thanks." Stacey said. "You, too."
"Thanks." Lana was silent for a moment. "I dunno, Stacey. I don't think this conversation is going very well."
"Well, tell me what you want me to say." Stacey suggested.
"Okay, we can do that." Lana agreed. "Say 'Lippy-lipey or pipey-sinking'."
"Lippy-lipey or pipey sinking." Stacey said.
"Now say 'Hey, ma! Pass the hammy-sink!'"
"Now what the hell is hammy-sink?" Stacey asked.
"C'mon, you're not playin' right." Lana told her. "Now go like this." Lana stuck out her tongue and moaned.
Stacey stuck out her tongue and moaned.
"Now mumble something completely incoherent."
Stacey made some sounds.
"I don't think this is working." Lana decided.
"Me neither." Stacey agreed.
"Hey, since we both ate those hot peppers, why don't we kiss each other's hot lips?" Lana suggested.
"With all that food on our teeth and cheese flavor on our breaths?!" Stacey asked. "No way! We'll wash it down with Pepsi for now. Then later,...we'll see."
"Fine." Lana said.
Lana and Stacey drank their Pepsis, then finished their game.

After bowling one game, Lana and Stacey decided to go for a walk in the park.
"So, how's stuff doin' at home?" Lana asked.
Stacey shrugged. "All right,...I guess."
"Is anything wrong?" Lana asked.
"Well," Stacey began, "...I've never told anyone this, dad's an alcoholic."
"Oh." Lana said in surprise. "I'm sorry."
"Thanks." Stacey said. "He's never beaten me...or my mom. So, we're better off than some families. But it can still be difficult sometimes. When my dad gets drunk, he yells at my mom and calls her names. They argue a lot, and I have to listen to it. He's convinced he's always right, and usually he isn't. He sits on the front porch a lot while there are chores to be done. The rest of us are stuck doing them. He only works at the Pizza Shack. Sometimes he buys old boats or lawn mowers and fixes them, then he sells them. He claims he's making money, but he's actually losing money. And guess who has to help him - me. Sometimes he listens to his music really loud when the rest of us are trying to sleep. Do you see why I moved out?"
"Yeah." Lana said. "Stacey, I had no idea."
"Cuz I don't tell anyone." Stacey replied. "The thing is...he loves me and his own way."
"Who's Ashley?" Lana asked.
"My sister." Stacey replied.
Lana stopped walking. "Stacey, I didn't know you have a sister!"
Stacey stopped walking, too. "You didn't? Well, I guess it's cuz she's never home when you're over at my house. Ashley's 14."
"Tell me about her." Lana said, resuming walking.
Stacey resumed walking as well. "She's got short, straight blonde hair and blue eyes. She was born on Friday, September 3, 1982. She's pretty good at school. She plays volleyball. She's a tomboy. She loves playing video games. She watches the same cartoons that I do, like 'Jem' and 'The Transformers'. That's about it."
"Cool. I'd like to meet her sometime." Lana said.

Lana walked Stacey to her bedroom door. They stopped just beyond the range of the sliding mechanism.
Stacey smiled. "Thank you for taking me out."
Lana returned the smile. "Anytime."
The two of them stood in silence for a while.
"May I kiss you good night?" Lana asked.
"Uh,...okay." Stacey agreed.
Lana put her arms around Stacey and drew her close. Both of them were nervous about kissing a new person. Stacey put her arms around Lana.
"Ready?" Lana asked.
Stacey nodded. "Ready."
Lana leaned forward. Stacey offered no resistance as Lana's lips touched her own. Lana kissed Stacey on the lips. It was an exciting experience for both of them. Finally, their lips parted, and they let go of each other.
Lana smiled. "I'll see you tomorrow, Stacey."
Stacey smiled back. "Nighty-night, Lana."
Lana turned and walked away.
Stacey walked towards the door, and it slid open. She walked into her room. The door slid closed. Stacey smiled as she replayed the events of the evening in her mind.


Copyright 2000 by Mark Moore