Watching Stars without You

By: Blaize Jade

Jean Grey sat alone on the balcony outside her room in the X-Men mansion as the soft strands of music from her CD player floated along with the thick night air. Scott Summers, her best friend for most of her adolescent life, had recently joined forces with their greatest enemy. Jean knew she had been lucky to get away with her life. She was alone now, sensing nothing but sleeping minds throughout the mansion. She stared out into the night sky, wishing she could spot Asteroid M and know that Scott was safe. She yearned to reach out and touch his mind, but she knew she’d feel nothing and it would only make the aching worse. Jean barely even noticed the tears rolling down her cheeks anymore.

She thought back to the last time she’d seen Scott—the escape. As she’d been fleeing from Asteroid M, she’d come face to face with Scott, something she’d dreaded since she first realized he’d joined Magneto. He’d told her to come with him, begged her not to make him hurt her, but she’d refused. She told him she’d die before she turned away from Professor Xavier and all he stood for. Scott had reached his hand up to his visor to shoot her before she could get away, but then he stopped, unable to hurt the woman who had been a closer friend to him than anyone he’d ever known. He’d begged Jean to stay as she pleaded with him to go. Finally, they reached the undeniable conclusion that neither was going to give, and Scott told her to leave while she still had the chance.

Jean had looked up at him, her voice strangled by emotion. She was saying goodbye to the one person she’d thought would never leave her side. Suddenly, Scott grabbed her and pulled her into a passionate kiss, letting Jean know all he felt for her—all he’d ever felt for her. "I love you, Jean," he whispered into her ear. "Now, please, go before you get hurt."

Jean had given Scott one last look, hoping he could read all that was written in her eyes, then ran, successfully avoiding Magneto’s forces. When she’d reached the Professor and he’d asked if she’d had any luck in retrieving Cyclops, Jean had burst into tears. She hadn’t just lost "Cyclops," the leader of the X-Men, but she’d lost Scott Summers, her oldest and dearest friend.

The man she’d just realized she was in love with.

She couldn’t get the image of Scott out of her mind. Over and over, she replayed the kiss, remembering how his arms had felt pressing her up against him, how his cool lips tasting her own mouth had made her melt. In her mind, the kiss never ended. She was still in Scott’s arms, wrapped up safe and warm. She wasn’t cold and alone, staring at the stars with tear-filled eyes.

"Jean?"

His voice was so soft that Jean wasn’t even sure if she heard it at first. But then she reached out and felt his presence near. She felt her heart leap with joy as she turned around to see Scott standing behind her. Jean barely registered the fact that he was still dressed in the uniform of one of Magneto’s soldiers. All that mattered was that Scott was there, tangible in front of her. She ran to him and threw her arms around his neck.

Scott crushed Jean to him, breathing in the scent of her shampoo and rejuvenating the memories that kept him warm every night since he’d left the X-Men. Jean pulled away after a moment, looking up at Scott with warm green eyes that now held tears of happiness, not grief. "How…why…I mean, what are you doing here?" she asked, needing to know if her dreams were coming true of if it was all just a cruel joke of fate.

"I had to see you," Scott explained. "I waited until I knew Xavier was gone so he couldn’t sense me and then I came. I know the security well enough to get around it."

"Are you staying?" Jean asked, although she already knew the answer and did not truly want Scott to say it.

He shook his head. "Only for a little while. I don’t belong here anymore."

Jean’s tears were again full of sorrow. "But you do belong here, Scott! You belong here with me!"

"No," Scott replied. "Magneto’s right. I can’t do things Xavier’s way anymore, Jean. Please, you have to understand me, understand what I’m doing. I couldn’t take it if you turned your back on me."

As much as she didn’t want to, Jean did understand. And although she didn’t agree, she could not condemn Scott. "I would never turn my back on you. I…I love you Scott." Her last three words came out soft, almost silent.

Scott took her hand and guided her back to him, running his fingers through her hair. He leaned down and kissed her again, this time with even more passion than he’d shown her back on Magneto’s base. As he felt Jean molding against him, he led her backwards and over to the bed. Slowly, he lowered her down until Jean was laying on the mattress with Scott on top of her.

He began to kiss her on her jaw and down her neck and he could hear Jean’s breathing become shallow. She eyes her closed and he could tell she was lost in the moment. He unbuttoned her nightshirt and took hold of her breasts in his hands. He ran his thumbs over her nipples and Jean’s eyes shot open.

"Scott…I don’t know, I…"

Scott leaned down and began kissing her again. "Shh…" he said as he moved his mouth from her lips to her hair. "Let me show you how much I love you. This could be my only chance."

Jean knew he was right, and that she wanted it as much as he did. She relaxed as Scott moved his lips down her body, taking one of her breasts in her mouth. He suckled on her as his fingers tweaked her other nipple. Jean writhed underneath him, begging him to touch her, to love her.

Scott sat up long enough to take off his shirt, then came back down, covering Jean’s mouth with his. Their tongues danced, and Jean relished the taste of his mouth. Jean ran her hands over Scott’s bare chest, memorizing every line, every muscle, with her fingertips.

Jean’s eyes widened in surprise as she felt Scott’s hand sneak past her underwear and touch her clit. He found the perfect rhythm with seemingly no effort, and soon Jean was moaning against his mouth. The more she moved, the harder he rubbed, until he finally he took off her underwear completely and slipped a finger inside her. Scott smiled as he felt how wet she was and Jean began to buck against his hand. He added a second finger and Jean’s moans grew louder, her movements more sporadic.

Without warning, Scott moved away. Jean let out a cry of protest, but Scott gave her a crooked grin as he stood up and slipped off the rest of his clothes. He got back into the bed with Jean, pulling a blanket from the end of the bed over them. Jean sighed as he resumed kissing her.

"Are you ready for me, Jean?" Scott breathed into her ear.

"I think so," Jean replied, nervousness suddenly threatening to overtake her. "I’m…I’m a virgin."

"I know," Scott said, kissing her forehead. "I’ll be gentle."

Jean tried to swallow even though her mouth was dry. "I’m ready," she said, her voice shaky.

Scott propped up on one arm and took his cock in the other hand, stroking it a couple of times quickly until a drop of pre-cum formed at the tip. "Relax," he said, leaning in to give Jean another kiss. "It’s going to be okay."

Jean nodded. "I know."

Scott frowned. "Are you sure you want to do this."

"Yes," Jean answered. She spread her legs a little farther apart to emphasize her point. "I want you, Scott. I want to share this with you—to have this memory of you at least."

Scott entered Jean, stopping when he heard her hiss with pain. "Are you okay?"

"I’m fine," Jean replied, fresh tears stinging in her eyes.

"Do you want me to stop?"

Jean shook her head adamantly. "No. Keep going. The pain will pass."

Scott pushed into Jean deeper, breaking her hymen and causing her to cry out. He buried himself to the hilt, then leaned down so his lips were right beside her ear. "Shh…" he whispered, kissing her along her neck and jaw line, "It’s gonna be all right."

Jean took a deep breath as she felt herself stretching to accommodate him. "I love you, Scott. I love you so much…I just wish I’d said something before, when we had a real chance of being together…I…"

Scott silenced her with a kiss. "Don’t worry about what could’ve been. All that matters is what we have now, in this moment." Scott began to slide in and out of her, and Jean held on to him as the pain melded into pleasure. She wrapped her legs around his hips, urging him to go deeper, harder.

Scott lowered himself and rested his head in the crook of Jean’s neck, all the time muttering about how beautiful she was and how much he loved her. Jean ran her hands through his hair and across his back, assuring herself that it was real, that Scott was there in her arms. Cautiously, Jean reached out with her powers and touched the edge of Scott’s mind. When she didn’t sense any barriers she probed further, connecting her thoughts to his and using her powers in a way she never had before. She could feel everything Scott was experiencing, could hear his every thought echoing in her mind. Scott could feel her, too, and he looked up, his eyes staring into hers from behind his glasses.

Scott smiled as he sensed Jean through the tentative bond she’d formed. He concentrated, sending to her all the love and desire he was feeling for her. Jean gasped as the intense wave of Scott’s emotions crashed over her, then sent back to him her own feelings. Scott began to move within her again, and Jean realized she could not only feel her own pleasure, but his as well. The dual sensations began to overtake them both as they spun further and further into oblivion, until a shared climax brought them both over the edge.

Scott rolled over on his back and pulled Jean with him, holding her to his chest. Jean sighed with happiness. Scott intertwined the fingers of one hand with hers as he ran the fingers of his other hand through her hair. "Any regrets?" he asked.

Jean shook her head. "No. I could never regret making love to you."

"You know I can’t stay…"

"I know. But I wish you would. You could find your place here again, Scott. You’re always welcome with the X-Men."

"Would the others feel the same, Jean? You’re the only one here that doesn’t see me as a traitor."

"That isn’t true," Jean protested. "We would all be happy to see you come home."

"This isn’t my home anymore."

Jean felt the tears coming back. "Yes it is, Scott! You’re home is here…with me."

"No. It isn’t." Scott moved to get up, but Jean held him tightly.

"Please. Stay a little while longer. At least until I’m asleep. I can’t watch you leave."

Scott knew he couldn’t deny her that. He settled back down into her arms. "I love you, Jean. Don’t you ever forget that. And don’t think of this as goodbye. Nothing could keep me away from you forever. Not even death."

Jean cried herself to sleep on Scott’s chest knowing that when she woke, she would be alone.

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What did you think? It was my first Evolution fic, so be gentle! I’m considering a sequel, so let me know if you want one. The more reviews I get, the more likely I’ll be to write one.