How did Link win the basketball game?
He used the hookshot!
A Test for Julius
COLLEGE ENTRANCE EXAM FOR FOOTBALL PLAYERS
Time Limit: 3 WKS
1. What language is spoken in France?
2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with
particular reference to architecture, literature, law and
social conditions -OR- give the first name of Pierre Trudeau.
3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to
____ (a) build a bridge
____ (b) sail the ocean
____ (c) lead an army or
____ (d) WRITE A PLAY
4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)
____ (a) Jewish
____ (b) Catholic
____ (c) Hindu
____ (d) Polish
____ (e) Agnostic
5. Metric conversion. How many feet is 0.0 meters?
6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand
is on the 5?
7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)
8. What are people in America's far north called?
____ (a) Westerners
____ (b) Southerners
____ (c) Northerners
9. Spell -- Bush, Carter and Clinton
10. Six kings of England have been called George, the last one
being George the Sixth. Name the previous five.
11. Where does rain come from?
____ (a) Macy's
____ (b) Kmart
____ (c) Canada
____ (d) the sky
12. Can you explain Einstein's Theory of Relativity?
____ (a) yes
____ (b) no
13. What are coat hangers used for?
14. The Star Spangled Banner is the National Anthem for what
15. Explain Le Chatelier's Principle of Dynamic Equilibrium
-OR- spell your name in BLOCK LETTERS.
16. Where is the basement in a three story building located?
17. Which part of America produces the most oranges?
____ (a) New York
____ (b) Florida
____ (c) Canada
____ (d) Wisconsin
18. Advanced math. If you have three apples how many apples do
19. What does NBC (National Broadcasting Corporation) stand for?
20. The Cornell University tradition for efficiency began when?
____ (a) B.C
____ (b) A.D.
*You must answer three or more questions correctly to qualify
Kevin Keene and Kid Icarus are walking through a construction area. Kid
Icarus isn't watching where he's going and trips on a some rubble.
"Whoa! A Pitfall!" Kevin exclaims.
In baseball, what does Kid Icarus always hit?
Why shouldn't you tell Julius Jones to run home when playing baseball?
Because he'll run to his house, not to home plate.
You Know You're Suffering From Captain N Withdrawal When....
...you still have your original NES and occasionally play Punch-Out just in case. When you beat it, you throw a fit because the Ultimate Warp Zone didn't open.
...your favorite way of annoying people is putting "-icus" after every third word you say.
...when watching a rerun of "Star Trek: The Next Generation" about Data trying to be human, you shout "The heck with it, just take him to the Warp of Life already!"
...you make your own Power Pad and Zapper and go around "zapping" people you don't like.
...when on vacation in California, you buy every road map you can find and study them extensively to figure out how to get to Northridge.
...you can remember a time when everyone's favorite TV couple was Kevin and Winnie--yours was Kevin and Lana.
...you've been practicing with a whip for months, but for some reason you can't seem to get it to fetch yet.
...you name your hamsters aftr N Team members.
...you get all excited when you hear someone yelling "Duke! Duke, come back here!"
...when you watch Sliders, even reruns, every time they open the wormhole, you secretly hope they'll wind up in Videoland on one trip.
...for Halloween, you've gone as Kevin / Lana for eight years straight.
...you dig up your old cartridge of Metroid and spend hours trying to beat it again just to see how much the cartoon messed up Mother Brain (like they did Simon).
...your professor/teacher decides to make you play a game. Your team is losing, you declare anarchy because the rules are stacked against you, and to restore order he yells "I'm the game master! I make the rules!" Your response: "Forget it, Captain N, this is a revolution!"
...you spend your time in your pointless Honors class writing Captain N lists like this one.
...you're working full-time, have a "real job", and yet when you feel compelled to take a five-minute break you check out the Season 4 ep you forgot to read last week.
...instead of a car, you wish you had your own Warp Wagon to get home without dealing with traffic.
...you remember which block to turn right on to get to a friend's house only because the name of the street is "Belmont Avenue"!
...during flu season, you go around telling people you have a video virus.
...you spend more time working on CN fanfic than you do on your papers.
You Know You Suffer From Captain N Withdrawal When....
1. You hear that the show's coming back, even start seeing a new episode, and you're all psyched about it, only to wake up and realize it was a dream. It happened to me last night!
2. You visit an arcade and (silently) blast the arcade operator when you find out that Punch-Out!! and some other games are not in the room anymore.
3. You get pissed at people who don't remember Captain N when you ask them about the show.
4. You are playing a multi-player game (say Quake II) with some people, and you wonder what would happen if all of you were sucked into Videoland through that game.
5. You are writing an episode for a fan-written season of Captain N.
6. As you watch the New Addams Family, you guess that, if they watched Captain N, they would say "Poor Mother Brain!" and have a heated debate with you for hours.
7. You get all psyched up when you hear the word "Captain".
8. You are more interested in playing games than doing homework.
9. You play an arcade game, and you imagine a Captain N version of the game, even including the fan-written seasons.
10. You visit another country, and you wonder if Captain N is showing there.
If you've got a joke that's somehow related to Captain N, then e-mail me! If it's good, I'll put it up!