The Abused, The Annoyed, And The Beheaded A California Dreams Fanfic (Season 6, Episode 12) by Mark Moore Mark was standing in the living room, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He was wearing a black tuxedo and black bow tie. Matt came out of his bedroom and noticed his friend. "Mark, don't you think you're a little overdressed? We're just going to the movies!" Mark turned to face him while straightening his tie. "Yeah, but we're going to see the new Star Trek movie. And I wear a tuxedo to all of them." "Why?" Matt asked. "Have you no life?" Just then, there was a knock at the door. Matt smiled. "That must be Amy!" Mark excited ran to the door and opened it. "Come to Mr. Winkle, darling!" "Whatever you say, loverboy!" That's when Mark opened his eyes. "Sly!" he cried in horror. His cousin, Sly Winkle, walked into the room laughing. Mark turned to him. "Sly, what are you doing here?! Amy's gonna be here any second!" "Oh, I'm comin' with ya!" Sly answered. "What?! No way!" Amy answered for Mark as she came into the room. Mark quickly spun around to face her. "Amy! Uh, Sly's not comin' with us!" he explained, frantically shaking his head. Then he turned back to Sly and gave him the look of death. "Are you, Sly?" Sly grinned and put his left arm around his cousin. "Where you two boldly go, I shall follow." Mark then nervously shrugged Sly away. "Did I miss something?" Tiffani asked, walking into the room. Matt walked up to her. "No, just the 'Winkle Stupid Hour'." Tiffani snapped her fingers. "Darn, I was looking forward to that!" "Hold on," Mark said, "we can't all go." He turned to Sly. "One of us will have to stay behind." Sly put his arm around Mark again. "Oh, no! You can't get rid of me that easily!" Just then, Mark pulled a microcassette recorder out of the left pocket of his tux and played the tape. Everyone in the room recognized the music as the beginning of the William Tell Overture. Sly frowned. "Oh, no..." Mark grinned. "Oh, yes!" "No! How can you do this to me?!" Matt smiled. "C'mon, guys, let's go." Mark placed the recorder down on a desk, leaving it playing the tape. The two couples left the room, both holding hands. Sly was left alone. "Hi-Hi-Hi-Hi-Hi-" he began. The four of them were just opening the doors to Mark's car when they, along with everyone else on campus, heard it: "Hi, Ho, Silver, and away!!!!" * * * In the Student Union at Lincoln University, Tony Wicks was working late to earn some extra money. He was cleaning a table when Sam walked in. "Hey, Tony!" Tony looked up at his girlfriend and smiled. "Hey, Sam, you look happy!" "I am! I've got some great news, and I know you're gonna be excited!" "Oh, yeah, what's that?" "I'll be moving into your apartment building!" "What?" Tony asked. "Isn't this great?! We can see each other all the time!" "All the time, huh?" "You must be surprised, huh?!" "I'm surprised, all right!" Tony said. "When did you decide this?" "About twenty minutes ago." "Oh, uh, and, uh, how does Jenny feel about this?" Sam waved it off. "Oh, she's just fine about it. In fact, she's looking forward to having the whole place to herself!" Tony nodded. "Great, great, great." He shrugged and smiled. "Great, can't wait!" Sam folded her hands together and jumped up and down excitedly. "Great! I'll get all my stuff! Will you help me move?" Tony nodded. "Sure, yeah, after work." "Great!" Sam said, and then ran off. "Great!" Tony grumbled. "Just great!" * * * After the movie was over (they always stayed to listen to the ending theme music), the four friends started talking. "Boy, that sure was a great film, wasn't it?" Tiffani asked, smiling. Mark, Amy, and Matt nodded. "Yeah!" they all responded. They got up from their seats. Just then, a guy came by. He was rather tall and had short brown hair. "Hi, Amy!" Amy looked over at the guy. "Michael!" she said in surprise. "You know this guy?" Mark asked. "Yeah," Amy said in disappointment. "Everyone, this is my ex-boyfriend, Michael Taylor." Her three friends were surprised. "Woah." Matt said, suddenly remembering that Mark was there. "C'mon, Matt, let's leave them alone." Tiffani said. "Good idea." Matt replied. The couple walked away, leaving Mark, Amy, and Mike by themselves. Mark looked at Mike and felt defensive. He put his left arm around Amy and tried to look tough, but not succeeding. "I'm Mark. Mark Winkle. Her new boyfriend!" "Hey, relax, man. I just wanna talk to her." Mike said. "What do you want, Michael?" Amy asked. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I acted like a real jerk." "You weren't acting, Michael." "Listen, Amy, I just - " "You hurt me!" Amy interrupted. "You hurt my feelings!" Then she ran off. "Amy - " Michael called, then sighed and shook his head. Mark sat down in his chair, and Michael went and sat to his left. Both of them just looked straight ahead, deep in thought, not saying anything. What neither of them knew was that Sly was sitting behind Mark. He leaned forward and rested his arms on the backs of Mark and Michael's chairs. "Hi, Ho, Freakin' Silver." he said in disgust. Mark's eyes opened wide, and he turned to look at his cousin. Michael also turned and looked at Sly. "What an inhumane thing to do to your cousin." Sly added. Mark shook his head, then looked forward again and thought. * * * When Sam and Tony walked up to the suite she shared with Jenny, they both heard loud music coming from inside. They looked at each other and shrugged. Sam unlocked the door and opened it. The music was so much louder to them now. Sam covered her ears. Tony, on the other hand, stared at what he saw, shocked. Jenny Garrison, Matt's sister and Sam's roommate, was holding a ruler in her left hand, pretending that it was a sword, and fighting an imaginary opponent. The volume on the stereo in the living room was turned all the way up. Jenny was singing, or rather, screaming, the lyrics to the song on the stereo as she fought the person that apparently only she could see. "And here we are! We're the Princes of the Universe! Here we belong, fighting for survival! We've come to be the rulers of your world!" Sam went over and turned down the volume. Jenny immediately turned and looked at her. "Hey! What are you doing?!" Sam smiled, crossing her arms. She walked over to Jenny. "Can't wait to get rid of me, huh?!" "Huh?" Jenny asked. "Oh, well, I guess I will have the whole place to myself, huh?" "Free to play your Queen CDs as loud as you want." Sam added. Jenny smiled. "State your business or prepare to be decapitated." she said in a mock serious tone. She put her ruler up to Sam's neck. "Tony's gonna help me move." Sam said simply. "Oh," Jenny said, smiling, "so he took it well?" "Yeah, I did." Tony said, stepping forward. Jenny looked at him, surprised. "Oh, Tony! I didn't see you come in!" "How could you? You were busy fighting this unskillful, weak, we-can't-see-him-but-you-can immortal!" "Oh, yeah." "How about helping Sam and me move her stuff?" Jenny shrugged, smiling. "Sure! Oh, uh, hold on." The young girl then turned and, using her ruler, decapitated her imaginary rival. "No man can be my equal!" She then turned back to face Sam and Tony. "There can be only one!" Tony and Sam looked at each other, frightened. * * * Amy's friends and boyfriend followed her back to the suite she shared with Tiffani. Amy plopped down on a chair in the living room. Everyone else stood in front of her. "Amy, are you all right?" Tiffani asked. "I can beat him up for ya!" Sly volunteered. Mark turned to Sly. "That's it, man, get out!" Sly smiled. "How ya gonna make me?" In a split second, Mark had Sly's nose in between his left index and middle fingers and was twisting it. "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!" Sly yelled. "Go home, Wimple!" Mark yelled. "Wimple!" Sly asked, surprised. "But, but nobody calls me that but - " "Jake. I know. Last time we saw each other, he took me aside and told me it was my responsibility to hurt you now that he wasn't around." Mark smiled. "He taught me The Sommers Nose Breaker." "No!" Sly screamed. "Not The Sommers Nose Breaker!" "You promise you'll go home?" Mark asked. Sly nodded rapidly. Mark let go of Sly's nose. "Ha, ha!" Sly said, smiling. Matt pointed at the door to the hallway. "Go home, dope!" "Dope?" Sly asked. "Tony took you aside, huh?" Matt smiled. "All right, all right, I'll go." Sly said, then smiled. "Lorena's probably waiting up for me, anyway. Ba-boom." Then he left. When Sly was gone, they all looked at Amy. "What happened between you and Michael, Amy?" Mark asked. Amy took a deep breath. "We went out for about a year. At first, everything was great! He was my Prince Charming. Then - " She fell silent. "Then what?" Tiffani asked. Amy didn't say anything. "He did more than just hurt your feelings, didn't he?" Mark asked. Amy began to cry. "He...he used to hit me...hard! Once...he...he broke my right arm...and once my leg." "Oh, man." Matt said, feeling very sorry for her. "That jerk!" Tiffani yelled. "Did you ever do anything about it?" Mark asked. "Call the police?" Amy shook her head, wiping away her tears. "No. Whenever anyone asked me where I got my injuries, I lied to them and told them I bumped into something or fell down a flight of stairs." "Why?!" Matt asked. "He's a rat!" "You don't know the half of it." Amy said. "Once he hit me so hard, I was in a coma for three days." Everyone was shocked. "That's it." Mark said. "This guy is dead!" Tiffani walked up to him. "I'm with you, Mark, only let me finish him off!" "Mark, Tiff, no." Amy stopped them. "Why not?!" Mark asked. "He deserves it!" Tiffani added. "You bet!" Matt added. "No." Amy said, shaking her head. "No, I have my own way of dealing with this." * * * The next evening, Tony and Julian were playing Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3. Jax (Tony) was beating Sonya (Julian) badly. The door opened, and Sam walked in. "Hey, guys!" she said cheerfully. The guys' eyes opened wide. They were each extremely irritated. "This is getting out of control!" Julian yelled. He and Tony got up and walked over to Sam. "Aw, Jules, you're just upset because I was away for so long!" This made Julian even more upset. He hated it when people called him Jules. Especially his parents. But he didn't say anything about that. "You were over here a half hour ago! And an hour before that! You've been over here for most of the day! This has got to stop!" "But Tony loves my company!" Sam said, hugging her boyfriend. "Uh, Sam," Tony began, turning her to face him, "I - I don't like it either." "What do you mean?" Sam asked, losing her smile. "I - I never really wanted you to move into the building." Sam shrugged. "But you seemed so happy!" "Hmph, you thought that was happy?!" Tony asked, surprised. "Why'd you tell me you were?" Sam asked. Tony shrugged. "I dunno, I guess because you were so excited about moving in that I - I couldn't say no to you." "And you weren't excited." Sam realized. Then she smiled. "No biggie! I guess I'll just move back to my old place!" "What? So you mean you're not mad?" Sam shook her head. "Of course not! I'm just glad you were honest about how you feel!" Tony smiled. "I'll just move back in with Jenny!" Tony lost his smile. "Are you sure you wanna move back in with her? I mean, you never know. You could be asleep one night and - " He finished the statement by running his index finger across his neck and making a cutting sound. Sam nodded, laughing. "I'll be careful!" Tony nodded. "Okay, then, I'll help you move back." Sam nodded, and the two of them headed for the door. "Me, too!" Julian cried with enthusiasm, and ran after them. When the three of them came to the suite Sam shared with Jenny, they stopped by the door. Once again, there was loud music coming from inside. "What's going on?" Julian asked. "Sh, sh, sh." Tony whispered. He slowly opened the door. Once again, the music was louder once the door was open. Again, Jenny was pretend swordfighting, but this time not against an imaginary opponent. She was fighting Jake. "Gimme the Prize! Just gimme the Prize!" Jenny screamed. Sam once again went over and turned down the volume on the stereo, and once again Jenny turned to face her. "You know, this is getting really annoying!" She then turned back to Jake and pretended to chop of his head, making a cutting sound along with it. She then threw up her arms in triumph. "The Quickening empowers me!" Sam crossed her arms. "Oh, shut up!" Jenny turned around to face her, upset. Sam raised her left eyebrow. "Have you come to be the ruler of our world?" "Oh, ha, ha!" Jenny said, still mad. "She got you doing this too, huh, Jake?" Sam asked. Jake stepped forward. "Yeah, you know, this Highlander stuff's pretty cool. I've watched all three movies, the second and third of which sucked, except for certain scenes in the third, and the TV series." Jenny looked at him. "Hey, you're supposed to be dead!" "Yes, ma'am." Jake said, and promptly collapsed on the floor. "Guess what?!" Sam asked, grinning. Jenny turned to face her. "What?" she asked, annoyed. "I'm moving back in with you!" "What?!" "Yeah, me and Tony decided it was for the best - " "I don't believe this!" Jenny interrupted, looking faint, and then she collapsed on top of Jake. Sam, Tony, and Julian all looked at each other and grinned. * * * One hour later, the West Coast Dreams were in the Student Union at Pacific Coast University. "Does dipwad have the music ready?!" Sly asked. "Uh, oh!" Mark said. "I forgot to bring it!" Matt groaned. "Great, those were brand-new songs! We didn't have them memorized yet! How are we gonna play them?" Everyone shrugged and sighed. "We'll wing it." Matt finally told Sly in frustration. Sly shook his head. "Don't tell me, do it!" "Okay, okay." Matt said, holding up his hands in front of him. Just then, they heard a thump. Sly turned to Tiffani. "Don't throw the mic!" Tiffani smiled, embarrassed, and shrugged. Matt walked up to Amy, who was off by herself. "Are you sure you're up to playing tonight. We can do without you." "Gee, thanks!" Amy said, laughing. Matt joined in. "Okay." He patted her on the back and went to where they had their instruments set up. Amy turned in the opposite direction and Sly came up to her. "Amy." Amy sighed in frustration. "What do you want now, Sly?!" "I just wanted to apologize for acting like a jerk yesterday." Sly said sincerely. "And, after I left your suite yesterday, I stayed by the door and listened. I heard everything. I'm sorry, Amy." Amy smiled. "Thanks." she said, and they hugged. After they left go of each other, Sly asked: "Are you feelin' all right?" Amy nodded. "Yeah." "Mike's a real jerk." Amy looked past Sly. "Speak of the devil." Sly turned around. There was Mike, standing a few feet away and watching them. "Oh, man. What are you gonna do?" "What I should've done a long time ago." Sly watched her as she walked up to Mike. "Hi, Amy." Mike said. "Michael." Amy said, nodding, but not looking at him. "Listen, Amy, we need to talk." Amy nodded again. "We will - soon." "What are you talking about?" Mike asked, confused. Just then, two police officers walked into the Student Union. "Michael Taylor?" one of the officers asked. Mike nodded. "Yes. What's this all about?" "You're under arrest." the officer said. "For what?!" "Assault and battery." He turned to the second officer. "Cuff him." The second officer placed handcuffs on Mike while he read him his Miranda rights. Then he led Mike outside. "Amy!" Mike called. "Amy, tell them I'm innocent!" "Throw him in a filthy cell and leave him there to rot!" Amy called. The officer nodded and took Mike outside. Amy turned to the first officer as he spoke to her. "Ms. Clemits, you're gonna have to come downtown for a while." Amy nodded. "I will, but can I play the gig first?" She nodded towards the rest of the band members, who were by their instruments. The officer smiled and nodded, then sat at the closest table to watch the Dreams perform. Amy smiled and turned to Sly. Sly smiled and gave her a thumbs-up. Amy went over and took her place by her keyboard. She turned it on. "Everything okay?" Tiffani asked her. Amy nodded, smiling. "Yeah - now." They all smiled at her. "It's time!" Sly said, smiling, and took his seat. Everyone applauded the Dreams. "Let's do 'Lean On Me'." Matt said to the others, then looked at their audience. "Let's do it! 1, 2, 3, 4!" They started playing the song, with Matt singing the lead vocals, and Amy and Tiffani secondary. There are times it gets so hard you can cry, This world can be so cold. And sometimes I just don't know How we ever survive. Listen, baby! Everybody needs a hand to hold, To pick you up when you fall. Everybody needs someone, And you can hold on to me All night long. And if you lean on me, I will lean on you. Put your hand in mine. We will make it through. I'll be your backbone, girl, Shelter from the storm. When it's cold outside, I will keep you warm. Yeah, If you lean on me. Ow! When the sky is gray, And you think there's no way the sun will ever shine, Just put your hand in mine. It'll be all right. Yes, it will! Everybody needs a hand to hold, To pick you up when you fall. Everybody needs someone, And you can hold on to me All night long. And if you lean on me, I will lean on you. Put your hand in mine. We will make it through. I'll be your backbone, girl, Shelter from the storm. When it's cold outside, I will keep you warm. And you know this heart Will always be around! Always be around. Ooh, yeah! And I'll be the one, Ain't gonna let you down! I'll never let you down. [Matt's guitar solo] If you lean on me! Everybody needs a hand to hold, To pick you up when you fall. Everybody needs someone, And you can hold on to me All night long. And if you lean on me, I will lean on you. Put your hand in mine. We will make it through. I'll be your backbone, girl, Shelter from the storm. When it's cold outside, I will keep you warm. And if you lean on me, I will lean on you. Put your hand in mine. We will make it through. I'll be your backbone, girl, Shelter from the storm. When it's cold outside, I will keep you warm. And if you lean on me, I will lean on you. Put your hand in mine. We will make it through. I'll be your backbone, girl, Shelter from the storm. When it's cold outside, I will keep you warm. * * * At the Student Union at Lincoln University, the Midwest Dreams were getting ready to perform their own gig. Tony and Sam were talking with Jake and Jenny. "You know," Jake said, "I'm still amazed that you two are still together after Sam dropping by your suite all the time." "Hey," Sam said, "it's a kind of magic." Jenny and Jake laughed. "What?" Sam asked, confused. "Nothing." Jenny said, shaking her head. They went over to where the instruments were set up and got ready to perform. "Okay, guys, 'Castles On Quicksand'. Ready?" The other three nodded. Jake turned to their audience. "All right - " "Let's do it!" Jenny finished, picking up her microphone and walking forward. "Hey!" Jake yelled, looking at her. "2, 3, 4!" Jenny yelled. They started playing the song, with Jenny singing the lead vocals, and Sam and Jake secondary. Well, I could love you, baby, But it's a fact: When I get too close, You pull right back. Your hands get cold, and your eyes get sad. I guess somebody must have hurt you real bad. With a nervous laugh, I see you try To cover the hurt, Try to justify. You better let go real soon, baby. You can't build castles on quicksand. You can't build bridges on thin air. You can't paper over the cracks of a broken heart And pretend it's not there. Oh, no. You've gotta let the storm break, baby. Yeah! You've gotta let the rain fall all around. And when the tears run dry, Maybe then you can try To start all over again. Start all over again. Well, I could try to push, I could try to shove. There's a great big wall In the way of love. It's time to face the facts and purge your pain. Get those tracks back under your train! I see you run, I see you hide. You're trying to cover What you're feeling inside. Well, I know you like me, baby, But, you can't build castles on quicksand. You can't build bridges on thin air. You can't paper over the cracks of a broken heart And pretend it's not there. Oh, no. You've gotta let the storm break, baby. Yeah! You've gotta let the rain fall all around. And when the tears run dry, Maybe then you can try To start all over again. Start all over again. [Jake's guitar solo] You can't build castles on quicksand. You can't build bridges on thin air. You can't paper over the cracks of a broken heart And pretend it's not there. Oh, no. You've gotta let the storm break, baby. Yeah! You've gotta let the rain fall all around. And when the tears run dry, Maybe then you can try To start all over again. Start all over a - Castles on quicksand. You can't build bridges on thin air. You can't paper over the cracks of a broken heart And pretend it's not there. Oh, no. You've gotta let the storm break, baby. Yeah! You've gotta let the rain fall all around. And when the tears run dry, Maybe then you can try To start all over again. Start all over again. [Jake ends the song] * * * I started writing this story on Wednesday, May 14, 1997 at 4:47 PM, and I finished the final spell check on Wednesday, May 20, 1997 at 7:57 PM. I really enjoyed writing this story, and I would appreciate any feedback. My e-mail address is: mark.moore@tnro.com. If anyone associated with the show, including writers, creators, producers, cast members, etc..., reads this, I would *especially* love to hear your comments! * Copyrights * A lot of the material in this story is copyrighted. Here, I'll give credit: "California Dreams" and all related characters were created by Peter Engel and Franco E. Bario. "Star Trek" was created by Eugene Wesley Roddenberry. "The William Tell Overture" is in the public domain...I think. "Highlander" and all related properties is copyrighted by Rysher Entertainment. "Princes of the Universe", "Gimme the Prize", and "A Kind of Magic" were written and performed by Queen. "Ultimate Mortal Kombat 3", Jax, and Sonya were created by Ed Boon and John Tobias. "If You Lean On Me" and "Castles On Quicksand" were written and orchestrated by Steve Tyrell. The character of Michael Taylor was in know way inspired by my 11th and 12th grade (1994-1996) Television Production teacher of the same name. "Does dipwad have the music ready?!", "Don't tell me, do it!", "Don't throw the mic!", and "It's time!" are all actual sentences that Mr. Taylor yelled at our class one morning in the 1995-1996 school year.